Rainy Day Rantings

Ok, so maybe not rantings...but I liked that title. I'm going to bounce around on thoughts here.

Yes, it's raining today, again. I'm tired of the rain. I think mostly because I'm scared that my basement is going to flood again. We did have a flood guard put in after our major flood last month; hopefully it will work, but I'm afraid to get enough rain to test it out, just in case.

My boys did very well yesterday at my sister-in-law's house. They were both well behaved and Preston had lots of fun playing with the dogs and watching Harry Potter movies; which I did not know he was interested in. My SIL had such a good time watching them, that David told her we might consider paying her for the next few weeks to watch them. She got laid off from her job a few months ago, as her husband is also laid off...so, he's working with my other Bro-in-law when he can, so I'm sure they would both welcome the extra income. But, like I said before, her blood pressure has been high and she is being induced on June 4th; so that would be temporary.

Today, they are at Barb's house. She's a very old friend of my husband's family and is a grandmother. She watches my nephew after school and has watched him since he was a baby. She also watches Allison and Preston sometimes on snow days and back-up days. I called her to check in a bit ago, and both boys are also doing very well there. Mason was sleeping and Preston had just sat down to watch cartoons.

Thank goodness my kids are so laid back and easily bounced around, especially my ten week-old baby....wow, 10 weeks already.

Today has been a weird day; I got stuck behind every slow-moving vehicle there was on my way to work this morning. I got stuck for a bridge going to pick something up for lunch, where in turn I left my debit card and had to go back...only to find the bridge was up again on my way back. I was destined not to get anywhere on time today.

And, another thought in my mind...how long is it ok for me to leave a laundry basket (full of hubby's work clothes) on the floor before I go crazy and ask him to put away his clothes? Anyone?? I could use a little help here.

I'd like to hire someone to come give my house a good spring cleaning...maybe I could keep up if someone could get me started?? Is that crazy or lazy to pay someone else to clean my house? Heck, I'd probably clean the house before they came to clean it so they didn't find out how we really live...how am I supposed to keep up with all the housework? I'm usually in bed, er, sleeping by 9:00pm...

And, who watches American Idol? I was bummed that Matt got sent home. Not only did I really like him, I thought he did great Tuesday night. I voted several times for him and Kris, my favorite, and they were both in the bottom three. And, this was the first time this season I've gotten through to vote, go figure.

Well, that's all I've got for now...I'm about brain dead for the day and getting ready to go home from work soon...need to focus on finding my desk.

Until next time.

Michele

Chipping at the wall.

I am feeling better this evening...since my last post. I guess because I took Mason to the pediatrician this afternoon and heard exactly what I wanted to hear. Oh, and turns out, I'm not the only one having a tough time...there are lots of people who are having similar issues and are supportive..thanks!

I'll update on Mason's appointment first, since that was the highlight of my day...he now weighs (drum roll) 13 pounds and 11 1/2 ounces...for those of you keeping track, that's 5 pounds and 1 1/2 ounces more than when he was born! Oh, and he is now 23 1/4 inches long. So, over all, he's just over the 50th percentile for height and 90th for weight; going to be a big boy. Today we got to see one of the certified nurse practitioners or C.N.P. who I really, really like. I've seen her many time with Allison and Preston and was happy to get to see her again. She asked me if he was taking any medication...yes, in fact, in a round about way...I told my story about the Zantac and how I was taking it because I didn't want Mason to have to have an upper GI scan. Carrie, (the C.N.P.) was shocked...she looked at me like I was crazy, but because she couldn't believe that the last C.N.P. suggested a scan for Mason who was so little. She said that she would never recommend a scan for any kid, instead, she would suggest medication for awhile to see if that would help. Well, imagine that...I was RIGHT...I followed my mom instincts and was right on. I was so relieved to hear Carrie say she'd give me a prescription for Mason so that he can take the Zantac directly...so if and when I stop nursing, he will still get the medication. Yay me! We talked about it for a few minutes, and she told me the other C.N.P. was no longer with the practice, not that she was bad, but just not there anymore. Ok, so she did suggest I stop taking the Zantac, and before giving Mason his directly, wait a few days to see if he still had the symptoms of reflux. Not sure about this suggestion yet...I've only been taking it a few weeks...so I'm definitely going to finish out my prescription and get his filled...before I decide how to proceed. Other than that, my baby is healthy and right on track. Finally, they have combined 3 immunizations into one and he got one orally, so only two pokes this time...yay. Next appointment in two months.

In other news:

The dealership called; they had to order a new hose for my air-conditioning on my van. Unfortunately, this hose is back-ordered and it could be up to two weeks before it comes in. In the meantime, I'm driving my van once again, and praying that the weather doesn't get too hot.

My husband still hasn't found anyone to watch the boys tomorrow afternoon. He is thinking of calling my sister-in-law who is 32 weeks pregnant and supposedly on bed rest because of her blood pressure (she's a pathological liar), but the job he'll be working on is right around the corner from her house and it would only be for a couple of hours...so I'm ok with that...I approved his choice.

David and I did talk for a few minutes tonight; I got a few things off my chest, but not all of it; I'll save it for another day.

Oh, and we skipped soccer tonight...it was only 52 degrees outside and damp from all the rain this morning. I was really surprised they didn't cancel the game..but I just didn't feel like sitting outside in the cold, especially with a baby. Allison and Preston didn't know and I have been able to sit and relax tonight.

Well, I'll leave you with a few pictures...guess who smiles on request now a days??

David..on the phone again...in the jersey for the new Toledo ECHL hockey team (The Toledo Walleye) which I won in a drawing and gave him for our anniversary.

Brick Wall

Ok, so this post is going to be me whining and complaining a lot...but, let's face it, it's my blog and my outlet so I can post whatever I want.

No, I am not suicidal and would never think about committing suicide, and I mean no disrespect to anyone, but sometimes I feel like there's a brick wall out there somewhere with my name on it, just waiting for me.

I guess, I like to give the persona of everything being perfect, but that's not how my life is at all. I suppose I need to be more honest with how I'm feeling and what's going on in my life, as again, this is my outlet.

I don't even know where to start, today I have tons of thoughts running around in my head. I'm at work and supposed to be working, but just not having a good day so I can't focus on work. I do NOT like to bring my personal life to work, but today, I just can't separate the two.

Yesterday, it was very warm again, the thermostat on my van said 87 degrees when I got in it in the afternoon to drive home, which meant that since my van was sitting out in the sun all day, it was HOT inside. Now, my van is only 15 months old; I don't even have 13,000 miles on it yet. So, I get in, turn on the air, blasting of course, to cool it down, and drive. After about 5 minutes, I realize the air conditioner is blasting hot air. Yes, my air conditioner went out on my rather new van...which was brand new when I leased it last year. I was SO mad. So, I had to drive all the way home, on the expressway with no air conditioning. I was sweating by the time I got home. Needless to say, my van is in the shop, and my brother-in-law, who works at the dealership, gave us a little car in place of the van while it's being repaired. So, I'm driving David's Jeep today, because I have to take Mason to the doctor this afternoon and will be taking all three kids with me.

Last night I took Allison to tap, had to stop at Target on the way home to get a trifle bowl for a dessert I'm making for a co-workers birthday tonight (will post recipe if it turns out), went home and finally ate dinner at 7:30, nursed Mason, put the kids to bed at 8:30 and fell asleep on the couch with Mason at 9:30. I woke up at 11:15 pm, Mason was still sound asleep, so I got up, did the dinner dishes that my husband didn't even bother with, got my breast-pump together for today, started on my lunch for today, folded a load of clothes and put the clothes from the washer into the dryer. By this time, David had fallen asleep on the couch. I sent him up to bed and then Mason finally woke up and was ready to nurse again. I fed him, then we went up to bed around 12 midnight. I fell right to sleep and was woken up at 3:06 am by Mason, who was ready to eat again, right on cue. I nursed him, changed his diaper and tried to finish feeding him. He was not having it; he was too busy smiling and laughing. He was in such a GREAT mood, however, it was 3:30 in the morning and I was exhausted. He was wide awake. I tried to get him back to sleep, but he was not interested. I finally took him downstairs as not to wake David up at around 4:00 am. Now, I don't know why I don't feel like I could have woken David up and had him be up with Mason. I'd already fed him, and I don't ever get to sleep through the night anymore, so I think I deserve to once in awhile, but, I didn't want to deal with David whining about how tired he would be in the morning, and he's not nice when he first wakes up so I didn't want him to be mad at Mason and "yell" at him instead of trying to be calm and get him back to sleep. Plus, I was already up, so I took Mason down into the family room. I put him in his swing and laid on the couch. He was so content and happy, just looking around, swinging. I was in and out of sleep; I was just exhausted. About 4:30, Mason started to rub his eyes and get fussy. So, I picked him up, carried him up the stairs and put him in his bassinet. I think he was sleeping before I covered him up; he was out. Yay...but my alarm was to go off in an hour. Needless to say, I pushed snooze until 6:00 this morning. Of course, it was a good thing I'd gotten my stuff together last night, so I wasn't rushed and too behind.

David woke up in a crabby mood, of course. Now, I love my husband, and he works very hard to try to provide for us as best he can. The economy just sucks, so we are very thankful when he does get an opportunity to work. Having said that, what is the point of working for yourself if you can't make your own schedule? We haven't found a permanent sitter yet because David's work schedule is not stable, so we're just having people fill in here and there. Mostly, his niece comes to watch the boys. But, she can't watch them Wednesday, Thursday or Friday this week. David said he was going to call a family friend who watches Allison & Preston on snow days and is always our back-up babysitter. Of course, he didn't call her until last night (Monday), and she isn't available Wednesday, but can watch the boys the other 2 days. So, we have no sitter for Wednesday. I can't take any time off of work right now (unless it's an emergency, and this doesn't qualify for that), I only have 5 vacation days left for the entire rest of the year, since I used so much with maternity leave and spring break. So, David said last night that he'll just stay home with the boys on Wednesday, and go work in the evening when I get home. The job he'll be doing is for his cousin, and he's already ok'd working in the evenings so we didn't have to pay a sitter if we didn't need to. He also has a small job he's working on with his buddy during the day, but can skip one day if need be. So, this morning, David says "I need to find someone to watch the boys tomorrow". I responded with "I thought you were staying home"? He says "well, I need to find someone to watch them, starting at like 2 so I can go work on my cousins job". Now, I say, "Who are you going to have watch them?". He says "I'll find someone". WHAT? SOMEONE? Ok, I'm very anal retentive..anyone who knows me, knows that. I have never been away from my kids overnight, except when I was in the hospital having another baby. Do you think I'm just going to leave my 9 1/2 week old baby with just someone? Anyone? NO. So, of course, that started a huge fight.

I just can't stand David right now. Why...why can't he stay home one day? In the past 6 1/2 years since we've had Allison, I've always been the one to stay home with sick kids, take time off when school was out for whatever reason and we didn't have a sitter, snow days, etc. I am the one who leaves work early to take the kids to their doctor appointments, speaking of which, I'm the one who has to keep track of those doctor appointments. I have to keep track of bath nights, tap dancing, soccer nights, when to take snacks to soccer, girl scouts, etc. I'm the one who has to make the grocery list, plan the meals, go grocery shopping, etc. NOT TO MENTION, I am the only one in our house that even worries about vacuuming, dusting, organizing, cleaning, laundry, etc. Why is that? Why don't they care what the house looks like? Why doesn't my husband write things down on the grocery list when we're low? Instead, he bitches that we're out of something...well, I always say "I didn't see it on the list", which always causes him to have an attitude. I just feel, lately, that I'm being taken advantage of.

I think mostly because I'm overly tired today, so not only am I cranky, but extra emotional. It's tough having a new baby, I know that, and I've been through this twice before and I know this will pass, but it doesn't make this moment in time any easier. I'm just tired. I'm just fed up.

I know that David has a labor intensive job, but, just because I sit at a computer all day doesn't mean that I am not exhausted when I get home too.

To top it all off, when I tucked Allison and Preston into bed last night, I realized I hadn't really even seen Preston and hadn't spent any one on one time with him. He stayed with David when I took Allison to tap, and I just felt guilty. I am feeling that more and more I see less and less of Allison and Preston. I know it's because the weather has broken, so they've been able to play outside, and they've always been independent, but I don't read them books or play games with them in the evening anymore like I used to before Mason was born. Sometimes, I even feel that Mason is an only child, because I go to bed and don't remember spending any time with the older kids. I feel so guilty. I also feel so attached to Mason though. When Mason gets cranky, I'm usually the only one who can calmly get him to calm down. David gets so frustrated and tenses up and starts treating Mason like he should be able to control himself. So, I always end up taking Mason back from him.

Anyway, all these feelings of guilt and resentment (towards my husband right now) are just overwhelming to me. On top of it, I don't feel like I can keep up anymore. Between school projects, homework, PTO activities, field trips, doctor appointments, work, housework, car issues, etc., I just feel like I'm drowning.

Other things that have happened lately, which are starting to add up to all these feelings:
1. Our big-screen t.v., which is only a year and a half old, went out. First the bulb had to be replaced, now a new part has to be installed. Just one more thing to keep track of.
2. When we got the new dryer, the door didn't stay shut when the clothes started spinning. The clip that holds the top of the door closed was broken. Lowe's gave us the door from the floor model while they ordered us a new door. Well, the door came in, and it wasn't the right part. Just one more thing to keep track of.
3. I keep track of all the bills and financing, etc. Well, our bank account is overdrawn today. Apparently, I forgot about a check David wrote to the eye doctor last week, and now our account is overdrawn by $11.98. But, that means that I will get two overdraft fees, since the bank pays the highest amount and the overdrawn amount is made up of two smaller debit charges, so two fees; that's over $60. One more thing to keep track of, and I'm obviously not doing a very good job at that right now. I checked the account last night before I went to bed, and it was fine, then today, when I checked it, everything cleared (effective yesterday) so there isn't anything I can even do, since technically it was overdrawn yesterday. I would have transferred money from my other account had I known. Oh well...nothing I can do now. There's just more money going out than coming in right now, which seems to be happening to everyone.
4. Mason has his next check-up this afternoon, which means another round of shots. Boo...I am excited to see how much he's grown because he gets bigger every day, but not looking forward to a cranky baby.

Well, ok, so there you have it. I'm overwhelmed today, sad and feeling guilty about my kids; mad at my husband; irritated that I don't have more hours in my day and just very, very tired.

I will post a more upbeat blog, with pictures, when I have time.....thanks for listening. I hope everyone is having a better day than me today.

Until next time...
Michele

Go ask Sadie...

Sadie is having an awesome giveaway going on until midnight tonight. Yes that is only a few more hours, so you don't have long to enter! Go check her out!

Michele

Thankful Thursday!

I have a lot to be thankful for in my life...here are just a few of the things I'm most thankful for today:

I am thankful that today is Thursday, which means tomorrow is Friday and I will be home with my kids for two days!

I am thankful for the beautiful spring weather we are FINALLY getting. Now, we can do something outside, finally.

I am thankful for the kids' soccer games tonight; I actually feel like going, probably because of said weather above.

I am thankful for three healthy children. I know I say this every week, but every week I am more grateful for their health.

I am thankful that Mason is starting to sleep in his bassinet almost exclusively at night and less and less with us in bed. This morning, however, I did bring him in bed to lay with me for the last 15 minutes before my alarm went off, just because I missed him being next to me.

I am thankful for 9 years of marriage and very thankful that this marriage is still going strong.

I am thankful that David's eye appointment went well and the reason he is having headaches and can't see well is not because of his diabetes or that he has a brain tumor (he's so dramatic), but because his prescription is not strong enough and with his new lenses, things will be better for him. I suppose he should have worn his glasses more often, like he was supposed to.

I am thankful for our vision insurance so that we are able to get new glasses/contacts/lenses and it doesn't cost us a fortune. Even if he has to wait two weeks for his lenses; which is just ridiculous!

I am thankful that my body is still producing enough breast milk for Mason and that at 2 months, he is still strictly on breast milk and I have not had to supplement with formula yet.

I am thankful that David's cousin needs some drywall work done and is paying him to do the work. This should keep him busy for a couple of days anyhow.

I am thankful for my job; even though I truly just want to be home with my baby and kids, I am still thankful that in this current economic crisis, I still have a steady income at a thriving agency.

And, finally, I am thankful for all my loyal readers; I know you don't leave comments, but hope you enjoy keeping up with me and my dramatic life...ha!

What are you thankful for today?

9 Years!! And counting...

I was going to type up this long post, outlining our 9 years of marriage; the ups, the downs, the good times and the bad. But, honestly, tonight, I'm just too tired. So, I thought I'd just share a few thoughts and a slide show of pictures. Now, these are the pictures I have framed around my house; I didn't want to have to tear my wedding album apart in order to scan them into the computer...

It was a gorgeous day; everything was perfect, everything went smoothly and everyone had a great time. I have to admit; it was the best wedding and reception that I've ever been to. Maybe I enjoyed it more because I had to pay for it myself, I don't know, but nevertheless, I don't regret spending the money; it was worth every penny.

Over the past 9 years of marriage, we've had lots of good times and a few bad. We've laughed a lot and cried a little. I don't regret anything we've done and have enjoyed most of every minute. We've been blessed over and over, which is apparent, since we have three beautiful, healthy children with us here on earth.

Anyone that isn't married yet, when you find the right person, marriage is great and I would recommend it.

Enjoy the pictures; I still owe you pics of our Kalahari trip...I swear, they're coming!

Talkative Tuesday

I just wanted to check in and give some updates:

Allison has just 6 weeks left of 1st grade. She's doing so well, as evidenced on her report card and her daily papers that come home. I couldn't be more proud of her in school. She did get a little cold while we were at Kalahari, and I knew she wasn't herself when she fell asleep on the couch the day we got home...she never just "falls asleep" anywhere!

She's now feeling better and hasn't had any cramps or "growing pains" in almost a week, so he must be through that growth spurt. She had tap class last night, and the girls got their costumes for their upcoming recital in June. So cute!! This is her being the DIVA that she is. (Imagine the costume without the pink leotard and tights underneath). I can't wait to see her up on stage!

Preston is doing very well being at home. I think he does get bored, but just loves when his sister comes home from school. Last week at the counselor appointment, the counselor basically told me I was wasting my $70 per hour as he doesn't think Preston has any ADHD or ODD (oppositional defiant disorder). He put Allison and Preston in a room by themselves, and we observed them playing on a monitor from another room. They played nicely and spoke nicely. Preston followed all the counselor's rules while in his office and was very surprised to hear some of the school stories. He believes that Preston is just being a normal boy. Yes, he is hyperactive and sometimes impulsive, but it doesn't lead to a dangerous situation anywhere but at school, not even at latch-key, just with the preschool teacher, Ms. Rebecca. The counselor believes that with the way she treats Preston, her inconsistency, and his boredom, he is acting up to get more one on one attention from someone at school. He also said he believes there may be too many kids, with mixed ages, in this particular class and recommended we just keep Preston out of the situation, which we had already decided on. The counselor asked me if I thought Preston needed counseling. I said no, as I am just astounded with our situation. I told him basically I was taking Preston for counseling to prove to the school that it's them and not Preston. He gave me an evaluation form for the teachers to complete (on a scale from 1-4 on certain behaviors) and also one for David and I to complete. Once he gets those back and evaluates them, he will determine IF there is any need for Preston to be tested for anything else. The counselor said that ADHD is too overly diagnosed these days and Preston is too young for any medication. He said most kids are just being kids, and that people try to "fix" the behavior. I TOTALLY agree and am going through with the evaluation, again, just to prove that Preston is just being a 5 year old boy. I think my new goal in life is going to be to try to get Ms. Rebecca fired. No kid should have to go through this.

Here are some shots of Preston, just being Preston....I think he's so cute!

Mason: Well, nothing really new with him. He's been laughing out loud more this week. He's now two months old. His symptoms of what I believe to be Acid Reflux have just about all subsided. As you know, I have been taking Zantac, by the suggestion of Donna, my loving midwife. From what I've read about Zantac, it passes through breast milk as do many drugs. So, I decided to go ahead and take the medication in hopes it would help Mason. At about a week and a half on the Zantac, I started noticing big differences in Mason's behavior. Last Wednesday was two full weeks on the medication, and I realized this past weekend that Mason is a different baby lately. He's much happier, hence the laughing more, he's not projectile vomiting anymore and he doesn't scream after he burps anymore. He has normal baby spit up and is rarely cranky these days, unless he's really tired or really hungry. I can not wait to see the pediatrician"s reaction when I tell her. He does fight sleep a lot, but I just hold him really close to me and rub his face while rocking him and he usually falls asleep after a few minutes. So, I think Donna's advice was right on. This is exactly how things happened back when Preston was diagnosed with reflux and started on Zantac directly, only, his symptoms went away after a week; I figured it would take longer for Mason, having to go through my system and then the breast milk. I do notice, though, when I drink caffeine, he gets very gassy and somewhat cranky, so no more caffeine for me anymore...I've already gone through my withdraw now...so, now I'm just tired all the time...but it's worth it to have a happy baby....see?

David is still not working steady. There are lots of potential things coming up, but how many of those jobs he will actually get or do is a whole other story. We have 8 more weeks of unemployment and then I just don't know what we'll do. I may have him babysit kids over the summer, while staying home with ours...might work out with not having to pay childcare...I can't imagine him being a stay-at-home dad. Yeah, right..I'd have twice as much housework to do when I got home!

And, speaking of David.....Tomorrow, David and I will be celebrating 9 years of marriage! I can't believe it's been 9 years. That will be it's own post, tomorrow! I will even try to scan in some pictures of the big day...back when we got married, there weren't digital cameras, just film! ha-ha!

As my friends know, I worked part-time waitressing the past two summers. I loved doing it, and I loved making the extra money. I liked getting out of the house, being with adults and doing something different every shift (as opposed to sitting at the same desk day after day). Plus, like I said, the extra money. Well, Al, my general manager, called me about 2 weeks ago and asked me if I was ready to come back for the summer. I told him I'd think about it and would get back to him. Now, at the time, I had no intention of doing it. I certainly cannot work another job while nursing/pumping. Especially waitressing; there's no opportunity for me to pump there. And, I'm not ready to put Mason on formula; I'm so very proud that he's 2 months old and my milk is still coming in strong and steady. But, if David doesn't start bringing home some steady income, I may have to consider working the summer again. It kills me, though. I would never see the kids, maybe for a half-hour a day when I work; just enough time to come home, change, and scarf some dinner down. And, I think it would really kill me with Mason; we're supposed to be bonding right now, and if I was never home, he'd take to David more and that would break my heart. So, for now, I'm just keeping this on the back burner and will consider if we get desperate. It is nice to know that I'm wanted, though. I feel that I have always been a very good waitress (7 years experience) and I think this just proves it for me. This is the 2nd time Al has called me back...at least I'm good at something (besides birthing beautiful children of course). HA!

This week, I am just exhausted...being back to work and not getting a full night sleep is just killing me. It's only Tuesday! My first week back I was SO drained come Friday. I was so glad to have last week to recoup from the week before. I don't have that to look forward to now, though. It's going to be a long year since I only have 5 days of vacation left and need to be very smart on how and when to use them. I'll probably just save them in case anyone gets sick. Both soccer games got cancelled tonight due to the weather, thank God!! Tonight is the monthly PTO meeting; I wasn't sure how I was going to handle two soccer games and the meeting. But, now I'm not sure I even want to go to the meeting...they are having a guest speaker on nutrition. She just spoke at January's meeting, so why does she need to repeat herself already? I love going to these meetings and keeping up to date with what's going on in the school and being around the other parents; but I don't want to keep hearing about nutrition...I do what I can in that area and feel that I'm setting good examples for the kids and their eating habits. Anyhow, just wanted to vent for a second.

Ok, so I think I've updated you on everything going on in our lives...more to come soon.

Until then,

Michele

Not Me! Monday

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama.

You can head over to http://www.mycharmingkids.net/ to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

Here goes:

This week I most certainly did NOT contemplate quitting nursing and go strictly to pumping breast milk and feeding Mason by bottle because it gives me more freedom and other people can feed him. That would be selfish on my part. Not me!

I also did not scream and yell like a mad woman at my daughter who had a horrible "growing pain" in her left leg and could barely walk. It was just not a convenient time for the cramp to hit when we had to walk a mile to our car from our hotel room. That would show that I'm not a perfect mother and lose my temper. Nope, Not Me!

I did NOT let my baby sleep on my chest almost every night this past week when I was on vacation and swore I would start weening him so that I could get some real sleep. Pretty soon, he may be too big for that; why would I not want to get as much in that I can? Not Me!

I did not get totally frustrated at Blogger last night when I was trying to post pictures from our Kalahari trip. I didn't just give up and go to bed, knowing my loyal readers would check again later and the pictures would eventually be posted. After all, I do NOT lose my temper and am not an inpatient person. Not me!

I did not buy baby cereal at the grocery store last night and put some in a bottle for Mason before he went to bed last night in hopes it would make him sleep longer. He's only two months old and pushing the issue could make him fatter than necessary. And, why would I need to sleep longer? That's just selfish considering I know I have an infant and I am perfectly aware that they don't always sleep through the night at this early age. Not me!

And finally, I absolutely, did NOT get jealous when I saw my sister-in-law over the weekend, whom I'm not totally fond of, being big and pregnant. After all, I have a beautiful, healthy baby boy who was sleeping on my chest at the time. Why would that make me jealous? I certainly did not almost tell my husband I was ready to start trying again. Nope, not me!

Okay. I did it. Can you stand to be brutally honest?

Michele

Thankful Thursday!

Today I'm thankful for many things; the ones below are the ones I can think of at this late hour.

I'm thankful that we had an opportunity to take a short vacation and everyone had a good time. Even though there were times I wanted to leave my family and join another; we all came home together.

I'm thankful that we had a safe trip and made it home.

I'm thankful that I have 3 healthy kids, even if Allison had a cramp in her leg all day today which made it hard for her to walk anywhere; it eventually went away when the neighbor kids wanted to play football, weird.

I'm thankful that my husband was relaxed while we were away, although he kept answering his cell phone which ticked me off.

I'm thankful that I was able to relax while on vacation and traveling with a nursing infant.

I'm thankful that said infant was easy going and was easy to travel with. He did have a rough night last night, but things are back to normal.

I'm thankful that you are all patient enough to wait for me to post more vacation pics and stories until tomorrow when I have more time, or Saturday, if tomorrow's zoo trip wipes me out like I expect it will.

I'm thankful that it rained for two days while we are at an indoor water park and that today and tomorrow were and are going to be beautiful days, which means we didn't miss any of this gorgeous weather.

I'm thankful for our Toledo Zoo membership so that I can take my whole family to the zoo tomorrow and it won't cost me a dime...well, except they have the best soft serve ice-cream, so I will HAVE to buy some of that.

I'm thankful that it's bed time and all three of my kids are sleeping and I'm on my way.

What are you thankful for today?

Two Months!

I'm stealing this idea from Kelly's blog so I can document Mason's growth and development.

Mason - what are you up to these days??

You have started laughing and talking more often, mostly in the morning when you are the happiest.

You like to stand up with your legs very stiff, mostly on daddy's lap.

You love taking baths now and it calms you down tremendously. You usually sleep much better afterwards.

You sleep about 4 hours straight now at night, not every night but almost.

You like to be held ALL the time. And, you sleep much better when I am holding you. Needless to say, you sleep on mommy's chest most nights.

You are wearing size 1-2 diapers and you weigh around 13 pounds.

You are wearing 3 months size clothes already and have been for weeks now.

You like riding in the car as long as we don't stop too much. More times than not - you fall asleep in the car.

You take your pacifier more now and it does calm you down most of the time.

You will sit in your bouncy seat while I take a shower and not make a sound.

You are really starting to hold your head up for longer periods of time these days.

You are no longer content with being held lying down; you like to sit up and look around and are very alert.

You love to sleep on your belly and sleep very well while doing so. We only let you take little cat naps on your stomach while we can watch you as you are supposed to sleep on your back to avoid suffocation. Pretty soon we'll let you sleep on your belly at night; hopefully it will help you sleep through the night.

Your eyes are still a dark blue and look like they will stay that way.

You are growing way too fast. :-)

Leaving on a Jet Plane

Ok, so no, we're not going on a jet plane, but since we are going on our first vacation in 3 1/2 years, I have that song in my head, even if it is a mini-vacation!

Yes, we are going on a mini-vacation to Kalahari Water park in Sandusky, Ohio. We are leaving Tuesday morning and will be staying two nights, returning home Thursday early afternoon. I'm very excited but I'm more excited for the kids.

We decided to take most of the rest of our insurance money from our flooded basement and actually do something for spring break and since I already had the week off from work, it is the only opportunity we will have for any sort of vacation this year.

We booked a "Lodge" room. It has a living room with a queen sleeper-sofa, a full kitchen (with all cooking/eating utensils) a dining area and a separate bedroom with a king bed and a door! The older kids will sleep in the living room on the sleeper sofa and have their own t.v., Mason will sleep in his pack-n-play in the bedroom with David and I. OR, if he cries, there is plenty of room in that king-sized bed for all three of us! Since we only have a queen bed at home, a king bed is like having twice the room (plus, no dogs hogging the foot of the bed!).

I've never been to any of the indoor water parks, but hear that Kalahari is the best. There is tons to do, they have the biggest indoor water park, a mini golf course, a pottery, an arcade and a tree-top kids play area. There are 4 restaurants to choose from. Plus, there's a spa and a workout room, which I most certainly will not be seeing. HA! So, once we get sick and tired of being wet, we have plenty of other things to keep us busy and entertained. The package we booked also gives us a free in-room movie and a pizza party or something like that.

Stay tuned; I will have lots of pictures to post.

In other news: Preston has his meeting today with the counselor at Harbor. I have to take all three kids since David is working today. I don't even want to take Preston since his issues were at school and he's not going to school, but feel that I have to so that I can prove my point to the school.

Mason's stomach issues seem to be getting better. An old classmate told me how horrible it was watching her infant go through the upper GI scan. She recommended I avoid doing it if I could. So, we have decided to continue doing what we're doing and hope for the best unless things get worse. If I didn't tell you, I am taking Zantac myself, so that it passes to Mason through breast milk. When Preston was an infant and had acid reflux, the doctor put him on Zantac and about a week and a half later, we saw a huge difference. So, I knew it would take that long, if not longer for us to see a difference in Mason. He's much less cranky and less gassy. As a matter of fact, I don't remember the last time we gave him gas drops, which we used to give him at almost every feeding. He throws up a lot less, too. When he does, he still cries, but it's less often, so that's good. Plus, I am not drinking caffeine anymore and barely eating chocolate and we try to keep him inclined after eating. With all of these things, he's doing much better.

We celebrated Easter with David's family on Saturday at his brother Jay's house. It was great; I didn't have to do anything and got to pig out on very yummy food. Plus, there were so many people that wanted to hold Mason, that I actually got to eat hot food with everyone else and was able to actually feel somewhat normal, not having a baby in my arms constantly.

Sunday, we drove up to Rochester Hills, Michigan to have dinner with my mom and sister. We went to a dinner buffet that was overly priced and came home right afterwards since Allison was not feeling well. She's so weird, every time we're going somewhere new that she's nervous about, she gets sick. Yesterday, her upper thigh was hurting her and she could barely walk. I'm not sure how much of that was true, as she's been fine since we got home. She was very warm and her cheeks were bright red, but once I got her a cool drink and talked her into eating some of her dinner, she felt better, still couldn't walk, but felt better. Once we got home, she was almost back to normal. She has been sleeping less since she's been on spring break, but she slept for a super long time last night, and woke up today back to her old self, so again, I think it was just the situation. My aunt and 5 cousins and 3 second cousins were also at the restaurant, so there were lots of new people, and Allison isn't always open to new people.

So, here are a few pictures of Easter morning. I forgot my camera when we went to Michigan, but will steal some of the pictures from my sister's Myspace page to post later.

If I don't post again before we leave, have a great week and I will post pictures later in the week from Kalahari.

Until then.

Michele

Thankful Thursday!

Today I'm thankful for many things in my life. But the following are the things that I'm especially thankful for at this moment.

I'm thankful that my first week back to work has seemed to go by pretty quickly. I'm thankful that I've fallen back into the routine so easily and remember what it is I'm supposed to be doing at work. :)

I'm thankful for understanding friends and co-workers during this first, tough week back. They understood when I was choked up and/or crying on Monday morning that I just needed some time to adjust and didn't want to talk right away...by the afternoon, we were back to normal conversation.

I'm thankful that I'm off work for the entire week next week during spring break with my kids. Hopefully the weather will be nice so we can get out of the house so that I don't end up going crazy and duct taping them to a chair by the end of the week.

I'm thankful for the gorgeous weather we had today so that soccer season could officially start.

I'm thankful our whole family could enjoy the evening outside together, even though the breeze did get chilly.

I'm thankful for three healthy kids; two of which are very active and enjoy soccer. And one of which slept through most of the soccer games and didn't scream the whole time.

I'm thankful for my strong marriage; my husband has been very patient with me during my pregnancy and recovery and not too pushy about getting the intimacy back into our lives. Especially because I feel like I constantly have a baby attached.

I'm thankful that tomorrow we get to finally find out if Melissa is having a baby girl or a baby boy in August; it's so wonderful that this pregnancy has been so healthy for her thus far.

And, finally, I'm stealing this idea from Melissa this week; as I totally agree. I am thankful for the Internet and cyberworld. It's great to be able to connect with old friends and classmates while having an outlet. It's nice to meet new people anywhere in the world and swap stories and share advice. Yes, that means all of you! :)

What are you thankful for today?

The Easter Bunny

Ok moms out there..I want to hear from you.

So, Easter is quickly approaching on Sunday. I haven't gotten the kids anything yet. I was thinking of not doing much candy this year. One, they don't need it; two, we still have candy from Halloween and Valentines Day and three, I'd rather be original.

Last year I bought pre-packaged baskets and the kids were happy with that. Some of them are pricey though, and some of the things in the baskets are cheap or not age appropriate, etc.

So I want to do my own. I need ideas. I'm thinking of getting Allison and Preston each either a movie or Nintendo DS game as their big item. Then filling it with sunglasses, sidewalk chalk and other things. I need help with the "other things". Mason will get baby sunglasses and socks, not sure what else, but he's only 7 weeks old (today by the way) so he's not going to know or care what he got in his basket. I will get each of the kids a hollow chocolate bunny and maybe a Reese's Peanut Butter Egg, but not sure what else to fill the baskets with. I had ordered Easter reading books from the kids' school through Scholastic books, but they did not come in, so bummer!

We usually hide plastic eggs for them to find and fill the eggs with change and candy like jelly beans or M&M's, etc.

I'm looking for some help, here...so share your ideas and/or traditions. Thanks!

Until later.

Michele

P.S. Thought I'd share a couple of photos to make you smile...they make me so happy!

Look at those chins!

He looks so much smaller when he's not all bundled up in clothing!

Wordful Wednesday

Last night was rough...Mason was very cranky and unhappy. He threw-up a lot; which was scary to us. We took his temperature and he was fine. I think what happened was that my niece fed him numerous times yesterday. She kept track like I asked her to, and it seems that every time he fussed she fed him because it was an ounce here and an ounce there. Only one time did he take a whole 4 ounce bottle. Is it possible that his stomach was upset from all of that?

It took me quite a while to get him calmed down and to sleep. We slept on the couch from 9:15 to 11:45. Then, David woke me up and we went up to bed. I nursed him and put him in his bassinet. I am really, truly trying to break him from sleeping on my chest, but he just hates his bassinet. And, I think he really likes sleeping on his belly because he sleeps so well that way. He tossed around a lot last night, but I just kept reaching over and putting his pacifier back in...but for the most part, he slept. I got him out of his bassinet about 4:30 am and fed him. Then laid him on my chest (on his back this time) and we slept for another hour...I just wanted to be near him when he was happy, sleeping and content. I was just so frustrated the night before.

The nurse practitioner (NP) that we saw at his 5 week check up said they won't just but him straight on Zantac (even though we did that with Preston just 5 years ago). She said that they would want to do an "Upper GI" test in which they give him fluids and monitor what happens to the fluid. I was mortified, like I'd want my 5 month old to have to go through that. But, after talking to my other niece, who is an RN, she said they would probably give him breast milk as the fluid and it probably wouldn't be that bad. I never thought of that; I had assumed they'd give him something horrible like dye or something. OK, that is a little better. But, I am holding off. At his appointment, the NP said I should try keeping track of what I'm eating and cut out certain things, prop him up for 20-30 minutes after he eats, etc. We would readdress this at his next check-up in a month (April 28th).

So, since then, I have cut out caffeine, barely eat any chocolate (which is almost killing me) and I really don't drink milk; cheese might be a problem, but I would think that his problems would have been from the beginning if it were dairy, not just developing. So, I don't think things with his stomach are getting better; they are getting worse in fact. However, when I told Donna, my midwife, about what was going on, she suggested that I take Zantac; it passes through breast milk and that way he would get it through me. She said she's never tried it or suggested it to any of her other mothers, but thought I should give it a try. So, today it has been one week. It took a week or so for Preston to get the full effect of Zantac 5 years ago, so I'm hoping that we will see a change in Mason soon. If not, how do I insist that the pediatrician prescribe Zantac for him? Anyone have any suggestions?

In other news, I'm not sure if I shared this, but there was another little boy at the pre-school, who left at the beginning of the year, who was having the same issues, but only at school. His parents couldn't understand it, so they pulled him out and had him evaluated by a counselor. The counselor determined that it was the school and teacher causing the issues because he showed no signs of anger/aggressiveness anywhere else. His parents have since enrolled him into another pre-school and he is thriving beautifully. His mother told me yesterday that he's actually one of the better kids in the class. Imagine that...you don't even know how great that made me feel, that I didn't do anything wrong while raising Preston. It's not my little guy after all...now, we are still waiting for his appointment with the counselor next Monday, but seeing as how there are others out there that have been through the exact same thing, I'm sure it has something to do with the school environment. I mean, really, what's the common denominator here? Yep, Ms. Rebecca....once I get all my reports together, I am going to gather as much information as I can and send it to the school administration and/or diocese. They need to reevaluate the program and/or teacher and correct the issues. Children should not have to endure what we've put Preston through. My heart breaks every time I think of how I left him in that situation for two years. I hope we have not scarred him for life.

Today is "spring picture day" at school, so Allison got to wear whatever she wanted and not her uniform. She was excited as she wore her new picture outfit that we just bought her for the kids' pictures at Sears. And, she'll probably wear that for Easter, too. I see no sense in spending $20 or more dollars for a dress she will only wear once. I've learned this after only 6 years of buying a special outfit for every holiday. I have decided if they at least have something nice to wear, then it doesn't matter if it's fancy or not...they're just kids. I can't tell you how many suits Preston has that he's only worn once...the good news Mason will get the benefits of that.

That's about it. No pictures to share today since I'm at work and don't have access to my camera. I'll be sure to take some random pictures and maybe just post a picture show next time.

Until then....

Michele

Sad Monday

So, I am officially a working mother of 3. Yes, that's right, I went back to work today, after only 6 weeks with my newborn. Why is it that other countries get like 3 or 4 months of paid maternity leave and Americans only get 6 weeks?

Anyhow, it was a tough day.

I didn't do much all weekend but hold Mason and sit around with him. I even contemplated telling Donna, my midwife, that I was depressed at my 6 week check-up...thinking she may write me off work a bit longer. But I didn't.

They were calling for snow last night, so I prayed that that it would snow so much that the whole city would shut down and I wouldn't have to leave him home today. But, it didn't.

Luckily, or not so, David didn't work today, so he stayed home with Mason. Mason was great for him, happy and he slept quite a bit. He only took 2 bottles, in 9 hours, he only ate 5 1/2 ounces. I was happy that he was ready to eat when I got home, so I was able to scoop him up and nurse him.

Work was ok. I was very emotional all morning. I cried when I left the house but was ok when I dropped Allison off at school. When I got to work, I didn't talk to many people. Those who stopped over at my desk to say hi got tears and "I don't want to talk about it". But, I was ok once 11 o'clock or so came around. At least I didn't burst into tears when people said "hi" anymore. HA! I know it will get easier each day.

So, I made it through the day. Came home, nursed Mason, ate dinner, and got Allison ready for tap-dancing. Took all three kids to dance so David could go bid on another job. Once I got home with the kids, I was finally able to sit down, but Mason has been cranky and actually throwing up quite a bit. He doesn't have a fever, but just doesn't seem himself. I gave him a bath because he was really covered in his own vomit. I tried to hold him and comfort him, but he didn't want any of that. I handed Mason over to David so I could tuck in Allison and Preston and he fell asleep in David's arms. That broke my heart...like he was mad at me for leaving him all day. I know deep down that's not the case, and the reality is he probably didn't even know I wasn't around all day...but I am still sad. I think most of it is exhaustion...I have bags under my eyes today. I didn't sleep well last night because I was anxious to go back to work, so I'm just tired.

Allison's soccer game got cancelled for tomorrow night, and I'm sure Preston's will as well...I'm hoping so. However, I still have a PTO meeting tomorrow night at school, and I don't miss those. So, tomorrow will be more of the same. The worst part is, though, that David is working tomorrow, so my niece, who is 20, will be watching the boys. I am anxious about that...I don't remember leaving Allison and Preston with her when they were so young but she says I did. She watches other people's kids and infants, and I trust her to call either myself or her mother if there is a problem, I'm just sad that we have to leave our 6 week old with someone other than one of his parents. The only thing getting me through this week is that I know I have all of next week off; spring break, yay! I will be home all week with all 3 kids, so I don't have to get up at any certain time because none of us have anywhere to be before 1 pm at all next week. I am so looking forward to just relaxing and doing whatever it is we want.

So, that's it...long boring post about me whining about work. I'm fortunate enough to have a reliable job and two people did my job while I was gone, so that makes me feel really good....that I am needed.

I am trying to be thankful for what I do have...and know there are many people out there with sick children or no children at all because they have recently lost a baby..so I am staying positive and thinking of them when I am feeling down, because after all, I am very lucky for what I do have.

Have a great night, and kiss the ones you love an extra kiss tonight.

Michele

Mason's Birth Story

Ok, so it's been 6 weeks and today is officially my last day of maternity leave (boo-hoo).

I know I promised weeks ago (6 to be exact) that I would share his birth story...not to mention I'd like to write it down so I don't forget the details myself...so bear with me, and I hope not to bore you. For those of you who don't care, don't read this post...catch the next one. :)


February 19, 2009

7:55 am - David and I arrived at the Toledo Hospital for our scheduled induction. The nurse showed us to my labor and delivery room. It was actually very nice, it was at the end of a hallway, so it was the corner room and had lots of windows. They had already filled my water jug and turned down my sheets on my bed. The nurse told me to get into my gown and she'd be back to put in the i.v. About 8:30, the nurse (my assigned nurse was in a meeting) returned and asked me a zillion questions, standard stuff. She finally put in my i.v. and left the room. I think they started the Pitocin about 9:00 am. My assigned nurse was very aggressive with the Pitocin, increasing 2 points every half hour.

10:00 am - Donna, my midwife, came in. She was planning on breaking my water and handed the hook to David..told him to hold it while she checked me. Unfortunately, my cervix had not done anything from the day before, when she stripped my membranes, I was at a "tight two" centimeters. And, Mr. Mason's head had gone back up so she wasn't comfortable breaking my water. She said she was going to go into the office and would be back later...she would be in contact with the nurses via phone. Donna told me to try to sit up as much as I could so that the baby would move down while I was contracting.

About 11:00 am or so, I started to feel the contractions, which was good, this was much quicker than with Allison 6 1/2 years ago. David sat and did crossword puzzles while I read a book and watched t.v.

About noon, the nurse asked me if I was comfortable. I hate hospital beds and couldn't get comfortable. So, she helped me into the rocking chair, where I sat most of the day. My contractions continued to get stronger and closer, which is what we wanted. My nurse continued to increase the Pitocin at regular intervals.

At about 2:30 pm, my contractions were very strong and about 3-5 minutes apart. My nurse had just left for lunch, so the stand-in asked if I needed anything; said she had just spoken to Donna on the phone. I told her that I thought I was ready for drugs...She said ok, she'd call Donna to see if she should check my cervix so we could determine where I was and which drug was appropriate. She came back in a few minutes and said that Donna wanted to check my cervix herself and was on her way in. The contractions continued strong and steady and I was thinking that things were really going to happen soon.

Donna got back to the hospital about 4:00 pm. She had me get back into bed and checked my cervix and I had only progressed to a "loose three" centimeters. Boy was I disappointed. I thought I'd be farther than that with the Pitocin so high and the contractions so strong and close together; some of them were only a minute or two apart. At this point, though, she was able to break my water. Now, if you remember, they kept telling me that I had a lot of fluid, which is why my stomach was so big. When Donna broke my water, it was like Niagara Falls. I don't remember that much fluid ever before. It was crazy...my socks even got soaked when she had me sit back up (because she had the bottom of my bed lower than my butt so I was inverted). She kept laughing at me because there was so much fluid. She told the nurse at that point to give me Nubaine and wait about an hour to call for my Epidural. We sat and talked for a few minutes and she said that this was going to take longer than she thought. While we talked, I felt some things going on and kept complaining about the fluid that continued gushing out of me, all over my bed. Donna checked my cervix again and I had already progressed to 4 centimeters, that quickly. She told the nurse to go ahead and call for the Epidural now, things were going to move quickly. She said I could still have the Nubaine while I waited. They had to change my bed sheets and pads; I had soaked 3 bed pads in a matter of minutes.

About 4:30 -4:45 pm the anesthesiologists showed up; there were two of them, a student and her "teacher". I was ok for now as I had the Nubaine and it was helping a big. They started by having me sit up and lean over; for those of you who have ever had an Epidural, you know that this is the worst part, leaning over while contracting. It took FOREVER for the "student" to get the Epidural in, not that she poked me a million times, it just took forever. I had many contractions while she was trying to do this, and Mason's heart rate kept going down. Donna said it was just since I was leaning over squishing him during my contractions. Finally, everything was in, and they had me lay back for 20 minutes for the medicine to start working. As soon as I leaned back, I felt like I was going to pass out. I immediately had no energy and couldn't keep my eyes open. My blood pressure went down to 84/40 and the monitors started beeping. The nurses and Donna stayed calm, while David jumped out of his seat and was at my side..."What's going on? Is she ok?". I don't ever remember seeing him so worried or attentive for that matter. The anesthesiologist explained that sometimes this happens if the Epidural is really heavy. She gave me a shot of Epinephrine to get my blood pressure back up. I still didn't have any energy and just felt like I couldn't keep my eyes open. This kept up for quite awhile. I was in and out of sleep from there on. I kept complaining that my Epidural was too strong; I couldn't feel anything, not even my butt. I know that I'm not supposed to feel anything, but I couldn't move my legs at all, the nurses and Donna had to move my legs for me when they wanted me to turn to my side, etc. I couldn't feel any pressure or pain or anything. My contractions almost came to a stop, they started spacing out farther apart. Apparently, my new nurse didn't keep up with the Pitocin. Once Donna started pushing the Pitocin up again, things started moving along once again.

There was some concern in respects to Mason's heartbeat. It starting an arrhythmia; about every 7 beats, it would skip. I started to panic, but Donna said sometimes this happens during labor. She said the NICU doctors would be in the delivery to make sure once Mason was born. After awhile, Donna turned down the monitor so I couldn't hear his heart beat anymore because I was starting to really worry. A couple hours later, right before I delivered, the arrhythmia went away. His heart was beating normal once again. It never has been a concern since.

About 9:00 pm Donna asked me if I was feeling anything. I told her no, I hadn't felt anything in hours. She finally decided that she should check my cervix because my contractions were so strong and close together. We had many visitors in the room, so everyone got up and left, including David. They were going to go for a walk. Donna checked me and said "We better call dad back; we're having a baby...she's complete". I was like What?? Donna ran to get a gown on; the nurse called for warm baby blankets. I was panicking because I couldn't reach my phone to call David back in the room and didn't want him to miss anything. Donna handed me her cell phone and I called him and told him to get back here. That was 9:02 pm. David ran into the room, Donna said "we're having a baby" and he came to my side. Then, he asked if I wanted his sister in the room, I had decided to let his oldest sister, Judy, in the room this time as she was there for me when I lost baby Grace last year and I wanted to share something happy with Judy. So, David called her and asked her if she wanted to be in the room. So, Judy came in the room and Donna told David and Judy to hold my legs and told me to push. I think I took 3 breaths and pushed 4 times...I don't remember exactly. Mason was out at 9:12, so all of this happened in 10 minutes. The only thing I felt was my stomach go flat when he came out completely.

He wasn't crying when he first came out and was really blue..I didn't remember that from either Allison or Preston. I later found out (3 days later) from David and Judy that Mason's cord was wrapped around his neck. This happened during delivery...Mason was originally facing up, but when he came out, he was facing down, so during transition, he turned and the cord must have wrapped around his neck, but he was always breathing, so it was nothing to worry about. I didn't get feeling back in my legs until after 2 am that night. My Epidural was just too strong. When the nurse tried to get me up to clean me up around midnight to move me to my post-partum room, I stood up, went to take a step and fell, I thought I could walk, but was surprised to find out I still didn't have control over my legs. It was crazy.

When Donna laid Mason on my chest after wiping him off and suctioning his throat, I started saying that he was tiny..she agreed. I said there's no way he's 8 pounds and Donna couldn't believe he was so small, she was sure he was going to be a big baby. When the nurse weighed him and told us he was 8 pounds and 10 ounces, Donna said no way..she couldn't believe it. She told the nurse to weigh him again. She ended up weighing him a third time a bit later too...because he just seemed so small.

Ok, so now the negative part of my experience:

I was moved to a double room at about midnight. The room was empty at that time. At about 5:30 in the morning on Friday, the nurse came in and prepped the other bed. She said I was getting a roommate, but was 5th on the list to get a private room. They had 11 people being discharged on Friday and I would be moved when my room was ready.

My roommate was brought in at about 10:30 am. She had numerous visitors throughout the day. They were very inconsiderate; loud, they had the t.v. blaring and cell-phones ringing. Her visitors were using the bathroom, which clearly said “Patients Only” on the door.

My husband and kids were at the hospital with me all day on Friday; we were very quiet, and were very conscious not to let the kids get out of control. When my kids needed to go to the restroom; David took them down the hall to use the one for visitors.

I asked the nurses numerous times throughout the day when I was going to get a private room. They kept telling me I was on the list and they were waiting for other patients to get discharged. I was not able to rest or get comfortable enough to nurse Mason because my roommate’s guests were not quiet or considerate. They had to walk by me to get to the restroom.

Donna, my midwife, stopped by to see me about 4:00pm on Friday and asked the nurse point blank if I was going to get a private room. She told my nurse that if I didn’t get a private room, she wanted me discharged to go home with my baby so I could get some rest and be comfortable. Donna did this before even saying hi to me; she could tell just by looking at me what kind of day I was having. The nurse advised Donna that the pediatrician probably would not release the baby as he wasn’t 24 hours old yet. Donna left a standing order that I could be released as soon as the baby was.

I understand everyone is entitled to visitors, but I was confined to a 4x6 foot area, blocked off by a curtain from another patient and had one chair in my portion. I didn’t feel comfortable enough to have visitors until I got my own room. Even if I had gotten some visitors while I was sharing a room; we would have made a conscious effort not to disturb my roommate.

At 8:20pm on Friday, David was getting ready to leave with Allison and Preston as visiting hours are over at 8:30pm. I was crying because I wanted to leave; I felt like I was in prison and couldn’t get out. I so wanted to go home with my family, but, obviously, could not leave without my newborn son. When my family was leaving, my roommate was getting yet more visitors, even though visiting hours are over at 8:30pm. David stopped at the nurse’s station and again asked them when I was getting my own room. He explained, yet again, the situation, stating that the roommate and her visitors were not considerate or quiet and that she had just gotten more visitors. He explained to the nurses that I was exhausted, but couldn’t get any sleep or rest with everything that was going on in my room.

The nurse then came into our room, told my roommate’s visitors that visiting hours were almost over. She came over to my side of the curtain, where I was holding my baby and sobbing because I was stuck in a situation that I couldn’t get of and no one was listening to me. The nurse asked if I was ok and I told her no. She had to tell the visitors 3 more times that visiting hours were over, and they finally left about 8:50pm.

I didn’t see my nurse again until about 10-10:30ish that night. When she came in, she told me that my room was being cleaned and I would be moved shortly. I was relieved, so I packed up my things to move. At 11:30pm my nurse came back in and told me that my room had been given to someone else who had some religious belief in which no male could be in her hospital room; therefore, she was getting a private room. What could I do? I called the hospital operator, asked for patient advocate services. The operator advised they were not there at this time, so she was going to page the head of the nurses to come speak to me. He did come speak to me, but couldn’t offer any help as he was not involved in the situation. He apologized and couldn’t understand why the nurses would have been telling me that I would get a private room if I was not getting one. He said he would check into it and left.

At this time, there was nothing I could do but try to get some rest. I nursed Mason and sent him to the nursery so I could try to get some rest as I was absolutely exhausted. My roommate, however, did not send her baby to the nursery. She kept him in the room and he was up most of the night. She had to turn on her bright overhead light every time she needed to nurse him. Therefore, again, I was unable to rest or get much sleep at all. It was a horrible night on top of the horrible day I had just endured.

At 8:00am on Saturday, February 21, 2009, the nurses came in to get my roommate for surgery, as she was getting her tubes tied at 9:00. As soon as she left the room, I called my morning nurse. She came in and I explained to her that I wanted her to send in housekeeping to clean the bathroom so I could take a shower. I also told her to get all the paperwork together so that I could leave as soon as my baby was discharged by the pediatrician. My nurse advised me that I was next on the list to get a private room. I explained to the nurse that I no longer cared about a private room; I wanted out of the hospital as soon as possible. She said we were waiting for the pediatrician, but I told her to get everything else together so that as soon as my son was discharged we could leave.

She did send housekeeping so that I could take a shower. She took Mason to the nursery while I took a shower and in case the pediatrician came. When David and the kids arrived, we went to the nursery to get Mason. I was advised by the nurses that we were still waiting on the pediatrician to release the baby. They had called the doctor to get a verbal discharge, but had not heard back yet.

I went back to my room where I continued to sit and wait. About 10:00-10:30 am, 2 nurses came into my room and proceeded to get my roommates things as she was being moved to a private room. They told me that I would have already gotten one but I was leaving. I understood, and asked them where the pediatrician was. They said they were still waiting for a phone call back for a verbal discharge. I then advised the nurses that if we didn’t hear back shortly, I was taking the baby and leaving the hospital, without the discharge, as I was tired of waiting and ready to get out of the hospital. The nurses told me that would be against medical advice and I told them I didn’t care. I was discharged and my baby was fine; I was leaving with or without their consent. About 10 -15 minutes later, two nurses came in to my room and just about pushed us out of the hospital. They said they got the verbal discharge, and we could leave. They started helping put things (from the baby’s bassinet) into my bags and literally pushed us out of the hospital.

First of all, I have private insurance. I know that my roommate was on government assistance, and not that that is any of my business (and I mean NO OFFENSE to anyone), but I don’t feel that if I have private insurance, I should have to share a room with someone that does not. (And, my roommate was the stereotypical welfare case...like what you see on t.v., so I can generalize here).

It’s bad enough to have to share a bathroom with another woman who is heavily bleeding like I am, but then to have to proceed to share it with her random guests. I had to take care of my open wounds in a non-sterile environment. I know that a few of them did not wash their hands; therefore, when I went into the restroom, I had to take Clorox wipes and wipe everything down before I could even focus on taking care of myself.

Secondly, I was not cramping much or even bleeding very badly come Friday night/Saturday morning. I thought that maybe it was just because this was my 3rd child and my body was just reacting well. Once I got home, and I was more comfortable and in a quiet place, my baby started nursing 100% better, consequently, I started bleeding much worse and had horrible uterine contractions. I had to get my Motrin 800 prescription filled for the 1st time in three children. This made me realize that I did not get the care in the hospital that I was there for. I then spent the next two days recovering the way I should have been in the hospital, while getting help from the nurses.

I do not feel that anyone listened to my concerns nor did they act like they cared. Up to the point that I was put into a post-delivery room, my care was excellent and my experience was great; as it was the past two times I delivered at Toledo Hospital.

I wrote a letter to the hospital and explained in detail everything that went on. I urged them to take my complaints into consideration in the future while doubling up new mothers; it should not happen in this day and age. We deserve to have peace and quiet and a comfortable place to both bond with and nurse our newborn babies. I did recieve a call from the head of patient services who kept falling over herself to apologize. She explained my situation is the exact one they are trying to avoid and have plans on the table to expand their wing so there are no longer double rooms. She said my letter was very well written and that she was going to take the names out of it, and use it as a case study to push their cause forward.

It was a miserable hospital experience (after birth), but it's over and I kept my eye on the prize and have been rewarded with a beautiful, happy, healthy baby.

So there it is, Mason's birth story...I hope I didn't forget anything; I got the major points. Some day I can show it to him. I wish I would have written down Allison and Preston's stories as well; I don't quite remember them as well.

Hopefully my next post will more interesting. Thanks for sticking with me...your reward? Well, a video...I caught a smile...enjoy!


Michele